You are viewing [info]superwanderlust's journal

The heart that bleeds, whispers sweet nothings... [entries|friends|calendar]
Super Wanderlust



Navigate

userinfo
friends
archive
memories
update



Profile

Femme. 23. Writer. Stylist. Neurotic as hell.



Layout

This layout was made by bella_anitragrl @ _premadelayouts. Background image was made by Squidfingers.
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Revenge of the Klutz! [Posted : 06.26.06 @ 06:17P]
[ mood | thankful ]

Urgh. My clumsiness is back. I swear I was in a daze most of today (am coming down with a cold, or am already down with one). So anyway, was hailing a cab to head down town to run some errands. A cab stopped opposite the road, so I crossed over to it. When I was in the middle, the cab driver opened his door and asked me where I was headed. I said "Orchard." and he kept going, "Ermm...Erm.... Ah, cannot." So my first instinct was to go back to where I came from, I turned and WHAM! Yes, I knocked into a van. It didn't knock into me, but I actually made contact with a van that was trying to overtake the cab. My arm slammed into the sideview mirror and my knee the side of the vehicle. Urgh, I mean, I'm quite lucky I was not run over. Right now, my elbow hurts like fuck. Am pretty sure a huge-ass bruise will appear soon.

Sigh. Glad to be alive, glad to be alive.

3 > C > M > E

Honesty is the best policy [Posted : 06.25.06 @ 02:22A]
[ mood | crushed ]

I am angry. Don't ask me why. But I am just angry. Make that fucking pissed off to the max. And please, don't ask me why. At this rate that I'm going, I can't swallow anymore negative information. My head is about to give way.

---

As [info]effiec's text messages streamed in, I cannot help but sob my sockets out. I am at my wits end. Am gutted that I keep disappointing the few people I care about. And her words ring true to my ears (eyes). I repeat: I am at my wits end.

---

Your frustrations. I see them in your eyes. And I want to stab mine, so I'll never have to witness anything again. Indiscretions, and what not. I cannot comprehend lies.

I don't know how I continue to put up with this. My paranoia, in all seriousness, is driving me insane.

Come to think of it, I never used to be this way. I was a strong girl. Not defeated like now. I had a backbone and I was loved. I fought my own battles, I survived. I was sure and believed. Now, I'm all about the self-doubt. Pathetic.

You. Like a wounded animal, helpless and miserable. I wanted to save you, now I'm drowning in your pool. I take a step back and survey the scene. My, my, what a hole you have dug for yourself.

Your wants. Your needs. Self-indulgence at its peak. Your wants. Your needs. More. Now. Again. Disguised as my demands. Your wants. My needs. Your needs. My wants. Do my head in.

---

Where did we meet? I can hardly recall. Once an angel, now a devil. You want everyone to love you. Not just me. You want them all on the ground, heads bowed down in blind adoration. There's more than one, they're everywhere; your oblivious worshippers. This worship of the devil makes me sick.

---

Why that look? Like I'm a stranger, or a lunatic you can't bear to touch. Why that look of disgust/contempt? Don't forget, don't ever let this slip your mind: I am your work of art. Your masterpiece of deceit.

---

I can't begin to describe how disappointed I am. Right now, I want to clobber someone to death. Just anyone.

[Posted : 06.22.06 @ 12:46A]
[ mood | indescribable ]

I'd rather one hurt me with the truth than with a weapon of lies. And it has occurred to me ever so often, what if I stopped caring one day?









I'm praying every night for that.

C > M > E

Please keep your hands down and stop raising your voice [Posted : 06.21.06 @ 08:47A]
[ mood | drained ]

I think I had the worst sleep ever last night. Am not even sure if I slept a wink at all. Needless to say, I'm bloody exhausted. Still, my brain is whirring ahead with super human speed. Can't keep up. I'm definitely cabbing it to work this am.

C > M > E

[Posted : 06.20.06 @ 06:48P]
[ mood | numb ]

I am a person of many words, but there are times when certain situations just render me speechless. As confrontational as I might be, I've come to a point where I just state myself clear and that's about it. Life's already complicated enough, am not going to give myself more grief. Simply put, I don't want to hear a single untrue word uttered about me or the people I care about again. I am not interested in getting involved in piss-filled bust-ups between people. I don't even care for the everyone to like me, because truth be told, I am only nice to the people I give two hoots about. Am not put on this world to gain sympathy votes or two-faced friends. I am never afraid to admit the things I've said, so bloody hell just ask me next time.

So all that said, thank you and fuck you very much.

C > M > E

Finally, pictures! [Posted : 06.15.06 @ 11:18P]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Ah, I think I must be feeling a little blue because all I can indulge in now is food and retail therapy. Football wise, Spain won. Am supporting them all the way. And needless to say, Xabi Alonso is my hero.

The main point of this post is this. Pictures from Melbourne. Hurrah!

C > M > E

Hello, World Cup Widows! [Posted : 06.14.06 @ 08:26P]
[ mood | sore ]

First things first, Singapore Idol is terrible. I'd rather watch static on my fucking television.

Anyway, I can't wait for Spain's match! All the hot hot boys! What a way to lighten the mid-week blues.

As for work, the IT people has failed to change my fucking computer despite countless complaints from myself and my editor-in-chief. It is really bad. Am using an iMac OS 8.6, remember that coloured mofos that we thought were so damn cute but turned out to be fucking useless monsters? Damn right it's a useless piece of crap. I can't view pictures on it, Word is selective of the documents it wants to open, no 2 applications can function at the same time, everything on it is supposedly corrupted, it doesn't even allow me to listen music on it, etc. We are not getting along and can't get through another day with it. My days in the office is made up of running from terminal to terminal (everyone else has a new comp except for me, cos when it was my turn to make a switch, stock ran out), frantically trying to rush text out. I want to open the 2nd floor windows and throw the mother fucker out. It does not deserve to see another day.

Work woes aside, damn, I'm exhausted. Still, it's football time!

4 > C > M > E

Random facts [Posted : 06.13.06 @ 12:11A]
[ mood | embarrassed ]

This fucking Great Singapore Sale is driving me mad. No one is loaning anything out, and it's on for two months. Busting my balls trying to find stuff to fit the pages. Anyway, occupational hazards of being in fashion industry: 1) Always shopping; 2) Always sourcing for clothes and end up buying the stuff you feature. Fuck, I hate/love/hate/love/hate my job. No wonder I can't afford insurance.

C > M > E

Bad service award [Posted : 06.09.06 @ 10:28A]
[ mood | discontent ]

I think it was last year that Urban sent undercover peeps to check out the service attitudes of shop staff in high-end boutiques. Well, it looks like these brands are still not learning. Sometimes, the way staffers behave is influenced by higher authority. Despite my rather unpleasant experience at a particular lingerie shop last week, I think what happened to me yesterday takes the cake. And I am writing about it because I'm the complain queen, and this shop staff really upset me and ruined my day. I don't know if these people realise they have first contact with customers and they represent the brand. Bestowing a smile upon customers only because you receive commission via sales is just absolutely horrible. Paying customers or not, we're all humans. If you want to be treated with respect, then show others some too. No matter what job a person holds, we all contribute to something. If I allow myself to condemn a person because he/she is of a position any Tom, Dick, or Harry can hold, I guess it wouldn't be fair. Here is what happened to me at Kenzo boutique in Paragon yesterday afternoon:

I had just left an event and had an appointment with Kenzo's brand manager to view the latest samples that had arrived in store. A couple of industry peers and myself entered the store and because the brand manager had to rush out for a moment, she told the staffers to take the samples out for us. So these two guys opened up a box and threw ALL the samples across a counter top (really not a way to treat clothes, sample or not). Didn't bother me but because everything was in a mess, I had trouble telling the different looks apart. One guy was serving a customer, while the other (the culprit) was behind the cashier. So I asked him (in my super PR voice) real nicely whether he said a look book which could help me to tell the stuff apart. He was still okay at this time, but quite reluctant in passing me the book (which was just a catalogue). I thanked him, took the book and went back to where the samples were and started trying to figure shite out by myself. Few minutes later, the dude was standing next to me and so I asked him again, this time apologetically because I felt a bit bad for taking up his time, whether he could help me out. And lo and behold, he snapped at me, "Can't you wait?!? I'm serving a customer!" And I was like, "Oh sorry..." because I didn't see another customer enter the store! Well, it's not that bad until as he was walking away he said really loudly, "You are just a stylist!"

Okay, I was really stunned when he said that. Couldn't believe my ears that anyone would have the audacity to say that. Yes, I'm a stylist. And as much as YOU are doing me a favour, I am also doing you one by featuring stuff. The magazine and brand relationship works in a give-and-take manner. Just because I am not a paying customer, doesn't give any shop staff the right to belittle people in the publishing industry. I swear if this wasn't a professional situation, I would have lost the plot there and then. I was still stunned in disbelief when the brand manager came back into the store. I couldn't bring myself to mention the matter to her at that particular time, as 1) was still trying to comprehend that dude's behaviour; and 2) I didn't want to make a scene. So, I just asked her some questions and booked the looks I want for my shoot and she said that the same rude dude will help me out. HA!

When he finally did come to me, he rudely said again, "So, what you want?" I was really boiling at this point, but still kept my cool and refused to react to his nastiness. I just robotically told him what I wanted and when someone will come pick it up. Throughout this time, he did not once pick up a pen and book to write down what I had picked out and when I would need it. He might have superhuman memory (doubt so really), but all it shows is how lazy he is, especially knowing that other media will be viewing samples and booking them. From what I see, he'll probably mix up the bookings (maybe even on purpose) because he doesn't care. All he cares about is generating sales for his commission. The story does not end there, when I mentioned that someone else would be picking the stuff up he bitchily said, "Are you new?" And I'm thinking what does it concern him, and informed him that I've been working for close to 4 years. When it comes to samples, I normally go through the brand PR instead of shop staff, but no matter whether people work in an office or shop, I always make the effort to treat them all the same - with respect. This dude obviously thinks he is being a smart arse and proclaimed that he knows the FASHION PEOPLE working for Elle. Well, if you knew that well, you would know that the fashion department only consists of 2 people and the previous stylist already left 4 months ago.

I left the store VERY unhappy. I was really upset because I didn't get why anyone would deserve such abuse from someone who really doesn't have any right to dish any out. I am appalled, really. But this matter will not rest. I'm not asking for this dude to be fired, but I think his boss ought to know about his bad attitude. Because, he really is not doing anyone any favours. From this incident, it's VERY obvious that I will no longer be interested in supporting Kenzo, client or not.

What a fucking idiot.

8 > C > M > E

[Posted : 06.08.06 @ 01:25A]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

When the weather is bad, I have my questionable days. The all important "Why did I ever choose to be a stylist when I could just stick to writing?" question just lands right on my lap. Bugger.

----

I find my tolerance level for people dipping. I don't get all the competitiveness and holier-than-thou attitude. Get real. If you're really a-okay with yourself, you don't have to spell it out for all to see. That sorta comfort radiates from within.

We all deal with insecurities (God knows the emotional trauma I put myself through), but I find certain individuals way of 'I'm better off than you' dealing just a poor act. I don't know what point anyone is trying to prove. It's such a tough task being contented with yourself. So instead of putting yourself through grief just to see fit that someone drowns in misery or force yourself to fast forward your life just so you can get ahead of your nemesis; maybe it's time to put that energy into something else?

Keep on comparing and indulging in such uncalled for behaviour and you'll realise you're truly on your own in this rat race. Really, don't people have better things to do than try to make others take sides or justify energy-zapping actions?

Fury is a very, very destructive emotion.

2 > C > M > E

Monday blues, greens and yellows! [Posted : 06.05.06 @ 09:02P]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Exhaustion!

Main gripe: Why do shop assistants (shop girls, shop aunties, shop whatever) love to make people's lives miserable? Today, I encountered the mother-of-all-fucking-nasties who really was just downright condescending, rude and a class-A psycho. This bloody woman, whom I swear on my Prada shoes is definitely menopausing, is a cow because: 1) she couldn't look me in the eye when she was talking (spitting words) at me; 2) she kept raising her voice when she insisted there's no such thing as a half-cup bra (oh yeah, she's in a lingerie shop); 3) took it upon herself to give me a 20-minute lecture on bras, when really the easiest way to tell the difference between all the underwires, paddings and what-fucking-not is REALLY a half OR full cup (common sense?); 4) she basically accused me of making a half-cup bra up; 5) she demanded a company letter to prove that I work at Elle, when I already have a namecard and IC ready for her to check its authencity; 5) she still insisted I should have brought a letter even after I explained that I'm normally the one who authorises such letters, I shouldn't be needing one; 6) when I finally relented, she went on to condescendingly tell me that she's never seen me before and I could be a fake; 7) In a very tersed tone, I told her that I understand her concerns since they weren't a big shop, and she went on to tell me they do that at high-end boutiques too; 8) Almost about to fly into a rage, I informed her on my good relationships with all the brands, and then she cut me off rudely to say she's been around for 20 years and... By this time, I totally switched off and left. I conclude that I'm never featuring ANYTHING from this fucking shop again, because no one ever needs such fucking abuse. Mean old witch.

Thankfully, the rest of the day went pretty well. Oh, but then because it's the sale period, we can hardly borrow anything from the shops. That's another issue.

2 > C > M > E

We've come this far baby. [Posted : 06.03.06 @ 04:36P]
[ mood | tired ]

Hmm... 2 days of work and I'm knackered. But so far, everything seems pretty good. As for other things, I just want to sew my lips and stop nitpicking. Don't understand myself sometimes.

C > M > E

Hello Sunshine [Posted : 05.31.06 @ 08:48P]
[ mood | drained ]

I start work tomorrow. I am nervous as hell. Am starting to doubt my capability of surviving in this cruel industry. Have been drifting in and out for the past month, that I quite like the momentum. I'm not lying when I say I want to remain a Toys'R'Us kid forever.

And yes, I'm finally 24 years and 1 day old. Unf.

3 > C > M > E

Honey, I'm home! [Posted : 05.27.06 @ 08:04P]
[ mood | crazy ]

Hiak hiak. Took me awhile to finally update. I've been back for a few days. Am enjoying the last bit of my freedom before I head back to work. Pictures from Melbourne, soon!

C > M > E

Random #11 [Posted : 05.22.06 @ 12:26A]
[ mood | satisfied ]

Has it really been a week already? Whoah! Homeward bound in 2 days, am quite looking forward to it because I think it's time I get back into the groove of work. Can't believe I just said that, shoot me.

The past few days have been lovely. Summary of my weekend:

Friday: A trip down to the city a little past noon time and I hopped onto a tram heading north to Brunswick Street. Love that area to bits! Managed quite a bit of shopping, but still disappointed that every-fucking-thing is not available in a size-8 and below! A large bout of op shopping later, I settled at a kitschy cafe for a cuppa. Actually it was a latte and a big plate of wedges. Heh. Managed some writing, and my ipod even started working (well for 10 minutes)! Got a bit chilly towards the early evening, so I headed back to the city for some last minute shopping before dinner at North Carlton. Steak, steak, steak! Yums. Went back to Shoe's place to dump my 'weekend bag' and off we were to another pal's place for drinks. Warm-up session became full-blown drinking spree. Got to the club late, stayed for less than an hour and it was the usual at the 24-hour pokies join Welcome Stranger for a sammie! Homeward bound and passed out.

Saturday: Up at close to 4pm. Stayed in till 6, and we had dinner at a little lane off Little Collins Street. Beautiful pasta and wine, made even better by a nameless jazz band to serenade us (well, sort of). After dinner, we made the obligatory trip to Crown Casino and I blew $40 in less than 10 minutes. What happened to lady luck? I bet on 11 eight times, and when I finally gave up, 11 came up. What a bitch. We called it an early night and headed home for good old snooze.

Sunday: We actually woke up at 7.30am, so we headed down to Camberwell Market for some flea buys! Didn't get much surprisingly, but love that place anyhow. Back to the city for an early lunch, quick shopping and then Smith Street for the factory outlets. Most of the shops were closed, so we left and headed to the suburban mall instead. Did a bit of damage and bought my first pair of shoes since I arrived in Melbourne (finally!). Home early, and it's nice to snuggle under the covers again.

:) Bed time! Night. Hope y'all had a great weekend.

C > M > E

The heart-to-hearts that matter [Posted : 05.19.06 @ 12:40A]
[ mood | hopeful ]

I just watched Dirty Dancing again. I really like that movie. Heh. It's on my all time favourites along with Labryinth. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Just received an email from [info]effiec, that brought tears to my eyes. Still one of the very few people who understands my complex nature, and always so wise and full of support. It really matters when someone still bothers to see the good in you. I really needed that, thanks babe. :)

I tend to beat myself up over things that don't seem quite right. And it's true, whatever I decide, it should be to give myself a chance. I deserve it. Not anyone else.

1 > C > M > E

The Suburban Life Part I [Posted : 05.15.06 @ 03:51P]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Hello, I update from the end of Melbourne (literally). Am living in the suburbs, really far-out, and this whole area reminds me a lot of Pleasantville. Thank goodness there's Internet at home! Heh, so anyway, my mother is as usual the ultimate Stepford wive, and I'm now an official SUBURBANISTA ([info]freyyaa, I hear you sniggering!). Have visited two shopping 'malls' so far, and nothing interesting. Really, it's the brokeness talking. I'm deadbeat, because my flight was delayed for 4 hours, arrived in Melbourne at 3ish in the morning (SG time). Couldn't sleep till around 7ish (Melbourne time) and my mother woke me up at 10ish. Madness. Now, what else can I do? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... Maybe a nap will help.

*exit*

3 > C > M > E

Leaving on a jet plane [Posted : 05.14.06 @ 04:37P]
[ mood | tired ]

So I'm off to Melbourne. In the airport now, and had to disembark the plane as the plane's experiencing some major shite problems. Gonna be delayed for another 2 hours. What luck!

2 > C > M > E

Just a few more days to go... [Posted : 05.11.06 @ 04:55P]
[ mood | bored ]

Aimless rambling. I've done 3/4 of my packing. Now I need to find a large enough suitcase that doesn't weigh a ton, which means I have to coerce my brother into lending me his. Have not decided on undergarments and amenities, those are important I'm sure. Probably will forget something (note to self: passport), because I'm a horrible packer.

I can't believe it's just 3 days to head HOME! Home is where the heart is. *virtual cartwheels* As long as I don't let my mother drive me crazy, I think it'll be a greattttttt break. Woot.

Right, I'm bored. Need the PSP. Hur hur.

2 > C > M > E

Woohoo! [Posted : 05.11.06 @ 05:56A]
[ mood | hungry ]

I AM DONE WITH THE BALI STORY. All 1,575 words! Man, I'm amazed. Totally reminds me of uni days - don't miss the essays part at all. So now I crash and pack later. :D

C > M > E

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]